Last week with the start of free agency many fans found themselves holding their breath. Most of us already knew that our favorite players were going to find themselves cut and facing free agency, but where it would land them could be the source of true nightmares for some of us. After some surprising trades before free agency even started (can anyone even remember what QB was where after that complete fruit basket turn over?), many of us found ourselves trying to figure out what fate and the NFL gods, aka general managers, had in store for our favorites. This becomes a true test of our loyalties at times; does the loyalty remain with the player or the team? Are you any less of a fan either way?
My family found ourselves asking this very question three years ago. Being born in New Orleans, my daughter’s third word was “who dat!?” (I’m really not kidding). She was two when the Saints won the Super Bowl, was second lining for the Super Bowl parade, and even caught beads from Brees himself. She’s been to training camp in both New Orleans and at the Greenbriar in West Virginia.
She’s been to Saints games at all the division rival stadiums, except Atlanta, which we hope to check off the list this year. Half her wardrobe is black and gold, and the other half is Clemson orange and purple. So what happens when she falls head over heels for the star tight end, Jimmy Graham, not just for his eye catching plays and excellence on the field, but his character off the field? His military work rang true with her as a military brat, and his humble beginnings and story just spoke to her heart.
So in March of 2015 when I got the news that Graham was being traded to Seattle, I knew the news would be devastating to my kid. Her dad was currently deployed to a year tour in Afghanistan and Kuwait, so I filmed her reaction just to send to him, knowing her flair for the dramatic would be interesting and something he would want to see. Since the video was too big to just send in messenger I posted in on my YouTube channel and posted the link for him to see. I got a phone call from him the next morning wanting to know why our kid was on the news. Lex’s video had spread like wildfire. Her heartfelt and tear-soaked reaction to the news seemed to resonate with lots of people, and especially with Graham himself, who reached out to Lex via an ESPN interview and invited our family to his first game in Seattle. But that’s another story for another day.
Lex found herself stuck. Obviously her love for the Saints was in question. Could she cheer for Graham and the Hawks and still cheer for the Saints? What does that mean in a world where people’s loyalties are so often questioned, your fandom and passion have to be defended at every turn, and the term “bandwagon fan” is almost as derogatory a slur as being called a “mud-blood” in Harry Potter? And what did that mean for her family? This avid Saints fan found herself surrounded with Seahawks jerseys, shirts, flags, stickers etc. I watched as Lex slowly found herself learning about the new team, the quiet leadership of Russell Wilson, the deafness and spirit of Derrick Coleman, the brains of Richard Sherman, and the heart of Bobby Wagner.
Three years later she finds herself stuck again as we carefully followed the start of free-agency, waited with baited breath as the rumors kept flooding in about a Saints/Graham reunion. In the end it wasn’t meant to be, and now she faces another choice – is she a Seahawks fan or a Graham fan? When she asked me that after it was official that Graham was to be a “cheese-head,” I found myself torn as a mother. Obviously it would be much easier (and cheaper) if she came back to being a Saints fan. Trying to squeeze in a Saints game and a Seahawks game each year can be challenging and pricey. Obviously it would be easier to both love the same team. The first time she got to go on the field at the Superdome was before the Hawks/Saints game in 2016 – and she was wearing blue and green. Not gonna lie – that one stung this momma a bit.
But as easy as it would be to have our kids just echo our likes and dislikes, as I pondered her quandary, I found that the only thing I truly wanted as a parent was for her to decide. No influence from me or anyone else. Where did her heart lie?
Because let’s be honest, you can’t fake it. The absolute true heartbreak of a nail biting loss or the thrill of the big win, both cannot be faked. I’ve sat through many Seahawks games and besides the Hawks game in New Orleans in 2016, I was pulling for the Hawks to win, no doubt. But the win just wasn’t the same as my Saints wins. The heart racing, the anger, the thrill, the pure joy – you can’t fake it. As Emily Dickinson states, “The heart wants what it wants – or else it does not care.” So as easy as it would be to see her return to the black and gold, and as nauseating as it would have to be to buy her a cheese-head, I stand resolute that no matter where my daughter decides that her heart belongs, I will support her no matter what… well, until they play my Saints.
